This is just a note for myself:

28 September 2023

Im on my period pain. Syahmi brings the kids to playground which like 3/4 min away walks from home. He literally left the kids there and comeback home just to get his bloody phone!. My kids only 2 yrs old and 5 yrs old. Do the kids have sense to take care themself? NO! Syahmi also dunno anyone in this neighborhood....

Weeks on 2 Oct.

I asked my husband " Do you believe if Allah wants to reveal the truth , it could be at any moment". Hes nodding and said yes. He actually no idea that i have discovered his secret emails with alot of pornography. Started from there, i also doubt him. I have a feeling that hes cheating on me. I asked him whether he stills keep all those thing. He said no and even he even swore in the name of Allah about it. I laugh and said so you still wanna lie about this?.. He stop from playing games and ask me wht exactly I want . I said I want you to be truth and yet you still lied. It breaks my heart. From that I felt uneasy and feel something is off. 

Some context:

After giving birth to Eusuff, I stop from go through his phone because he swore that he going to changes. Its a miserable life, we keep arguing. Our marriage didnt have the feel of sakinah, mawaddah and all. No tranquility at all.

I try to find Allah, I even got GAD. Syahmi is not supportive. I felt like i lost myself. I am the one who struggling to raise up the kids. He only support financially but not even fully. I lost libido, I lost my interest to smile, i keep fearing death like it could come any second. I even go to psycatrist but syahmi not agreed to it as he said the location is too far in Shah Alam. I still with my decision to go because I feel that I need to healed myself otherwise how am I going to handle my kids.

I feel burden whenever he comes home. Some sort of expecation. He said my anxiety is nothing but due to my overthinking. Im quite sad. Im own husband said that. 

I ask my husband to find second wife. but he said he dont want. He wont do that as its hard to handle one, the another one would be troublesome.

11th October 2023

Early in morning, My Mil call me and she said shes infront of  Multazam. I ask Allah for guidance and clue for me to move on and make a call. As I want to packed for my kids as  a preparation to go Umrah. I discover another dark secret of my husband. He left his previous phone on the luggage, He didnt notice that in the phone got a picture and a whatsapp traces left behind. Eventually I got to open it and read some of the conversation between him and a girl name An. He even bought her things and he do the Haram things like drinking which I never expect. I felt the tremble. He cheated on me. Cheated on the kids. I felt so broken, betrayed, and feel sad in the same time for the kids. He walks & stomp all over my heart. I never thought that this would be the chapter of my life that I have to deal with. All the while, hes been playing innocent always make me feel down and feel bad about myself. I feel stupid as I allow him to manipulate me, all these years. All this while ive been tolerate with his shit. 

He always said that I changed, He want his wife back. Sometimes I lose patient coz I felt that, i have put alot of this effort in the marriage but he still didnt change. I have 2 kids and even he is the husband. He doesnt play the husband role and I felt that I have to baby sit 3 children.

I will take a stand for myself. I wont tolerate this anymore.I want to move on. I will move on and wont look back. i will be strong InshaAllah.

Assalamualaikum....
   
        Its been a while actually i've been away. It is my mid sem break and last 27th March was my birthday. I can't explain how happy i am , but honestly Alhamdulillah I'm happy. My studies and my relationship, both are in a stable condition. Thank You Allah.
Assalamualaikum,

I dont like and need attention from you guys.
Firstly, let me tell you, IM NOT SMART.......EAT THIS!
Second, I'm too lazy.... my level of laziness is maybe higher than yours! Assalamualaikum,

Dear guys, girls need attention. Got it? Jgn harapkan girl je yang nak mulakan conversation, u must put your effort on it. Show your love so that she notice your effort.

Ni hari-hari macam biasa je, mula-mula sebelum and awal-awal relationship dulu bukan main lagi. Selamat pagi sayang,cinta,gula, madu and etc. Bila dah dapat, selamat pagi pun takde, dah terbang melayang kemana tah agaknya. Main aci redah suka-suka je. Takkan u nak harap perempuan tu dulu mula conversation hari-hari. Diorang pun akan terfikir macam diorg bertepuk sebelah tangan. Rasa macam diorang terhegeh-hegeh kat korang. Diorang pun malu lah!
U all guys bila dah rasa rindu baru terhegeh-hegeh cari girlfriend korang tu. Mana tak kene sembur. Pastu kate la perempuan tu emo la, period la, ape la you name it...

Second thing, wahai kaum lelaki sedar tak awak tu bakal Imam dia. Ingat! Gerak dia suruh solat ke apa. susah sangat ke? If you notice, perempuan kalau dia dah sayang dia akan membebel, dia akan tunggu korang text dia even korang TAK TAHU! Kalau korang punya girlfriend tu masih belajar, tetapkan masa bila masa dia boleh call/text. selebihnya suruh la dia study. Bagi la dia semangat!. They need you. Dah pandai bagi anak perempuan suka/jatuh cinta kat U olls, pandai2 la jaga hati dia sebab part of diorang is YOU. faham? means diorang 24hr/7 CARE about YOU!
korang ingat diorg suka-suka ke nak ambil tahu pasal korang je? Baik diorang diorang layan text yang bertalu-talu masuk whatsapp/wechat/facebook diorg daripada nak ambil tahu hal orang yang TAK HARGAI diorang!

Ade sesetengah lelaki, girlfriend sendiri demam/sakit pun tak kisah. layan macam biasa. Cuba caring sikit...! Nak tunggu orang lain kebas awek kau ke?

Perempuan seboleh-bolehnya, dia nak you guys usahakan untuk halalkan hubungan. Makes thing clear so that dia nampak usaha korang yang betul-betul serious. ACTION TALKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!. Rapatkan la diri U olls dengan family diorg sikit-sikit. Dengan adik- adik ke, kakak ke or abang diorg. Facebook, twitter semua tu kan ada.

Perempuan dia suka kena pujuk, dia suka dilayan. Perempuan ni memang mengada-ngada.Korang tahu consequences bercinta. Pastu, kalu tak suka jangan bercinta dengan insan bernama perempuan.

Perempuan once bila dia dah terlalu disakiti, and u all pun suruh dia pujuk diri sendiri. Cakap diorg mengada-ngada and too demanded. Slowly dia akan tawar hati. Bila dia dah tawar hati, SO LONG GOODBYE lah kat korang. Masa tu, peluang untuk nak selamatkan hubungan korang. 20%. Doa lah banyak-banyak eh!

Real Men Don't Pretend Or Even Try To Understand Women-

http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/NEWSLETTER%20ARTICLES/mystery.html
Ketahui tanda hubungan renggang klik-
http://penpatah.blogspot.com/2012/06/ketahui-tanda-hubungan-semakin-renggang.html


Assalamualaikum,
Happy 7th anniversary. Im sorry, I still doubt u. Or in other word i tend to get jealous easily these days. So this is it. I wont chase u anymore because in the end of the day it feels like i'm the only one who's giving too much. I wish i could turn back the time so that I just keep this feeling to myself by not involving u. Its frustrating. Kalau ada jodoh kita,maka adalah.Tolong faham, i wished there was a second u try to comfort me. Try to sort this thing out tapi kenyataannya takda. No action..nothing could makes thing looks clear. YA Allah, am i doing the right thing? Aku tak tahu Ya Allah. Please guide me! Assalamualaikum pembuka kata,

Nak berpantun ke? sorry i tak reti nak berpantun. herher! Well lame rasanya tak berbelog! Im a busy business woman now opss im not yet women ! yelah hari2 kira duit kira I ni VVIP lah. lately I felt so happy, Thanks Allah, you give me a rainbow after a rain. Alhamdulillah even he's far away but still I'm happy and I'm thankful. I'll appreciate this kind of relationship because I taught me to be patient and treasure time.  Orang ramai puji kata I makin happy and ceria. Buat kerja pun hari-hari bersemangat. Tapi actually I did all that because of Allah and because of mom. Whenever I looked at the watch that mom gives me it remind me of mom and it gives me strength to work and remind me to be happy. This makes me enjoy my work and less tired. I dont want to be some of them who presence for work but they don't have the heart to work and their mind is not there. I'm not that type of person and I don't want to be one. How hard it is I try to endure it, even sometime i've complained myself about the tiredness but in the end of the day I satisfied. I give my customers the service which is I think if I'm on their shoes I want the best,fast, good and convenience services.I try my best, I learnt from mistake and I wanna be better. Thats what I am now, and that how its gonna work for me. Assalamualaikum,

This is just a note for myself:

28 September 2023

Im on my period pain. Syahmi brings the kids to playground which like 3/4 min away walks from home. He literally left the kids there and comeback home just to get his bloody phone!. My kids only 2 yrs old and 5 yrs old. Do the kids have sense to take care themself? NO! Syahmi also dunno anyone in this neighborhood....

Weeks on 2 Oct.

I asked my husband " Do you believe if Allah wants to reveal the truth , it could be at any moment". Hes nodding and said yes. He actually no idea that i have discovered his secret emails with alot of pornography. Started from there, i also doubt him. I have a feeling that hes cheating on me. I asked him whether he stills keep all those thing. He said no and even he even swore in the name of Allah about it. I laugh and said so you still wanna lie about this?.. He stop from playing games and ask me wht exactly I want . I said I want you to be truth and yet you still lied. It breaks my heart. From that I felt uneasy and feel something is off. 

Some context:

After giving birth to Eusuff, I stop from go through his phone because he swore that he going to changes. Its a miserable life, we keep arguing. Our marriage didnt have the feel of sakinah, mawaddah and all. No tranquility at all.

I try to find Allah, I even got GAD. Syahmi is not supportive. I felt like i lost myself. I am the one who struggling to raise up the kids. He only support financially but not even fully. I lost libido, I lost my interest to smile, i keep fearing death like it could come any second. I even go to psycatrist but syahmi not agreed to it as he said the location is too far in Shah Alam. I still with my decision to go because I feel that I need to healed myself otherwise how am I going to handle my kids.

I feel burden whenever he comes home. Some sort of expecation. He said my anxiety is nothing but due to my overthinking. Im quite sad. Im own husband said that. 

I ask my husband to find second wife. but he said he dont want. He wont do that as its hard to handle one, the another one would be troublesome.

11th October 2023

Early in morning, My Mil call me and she said shes infront of  Multazam. I ask Allah for guidance and clue for me to move on and make a call. As I want to packed for my kids as  a preparation to go Umrah. I discover another dark secret of my husband. He left his previous phone on the luggage, He didnt notice that in the phone got a picture and a whatsapp traces left behind. Eventually I got to open it and read some of the conversation between him and a girl name An. He even bought her things and he do the Haram things like drinking which I never expect. I felt the tremble. He cheated on me. Cheated on the kids. I felt so broken, betrayed, and feel sad in the same time for the kids. He walks & stomp all over my heart. I never thought that this would be the chapter of my life that I have to deal with. All the while, hes been playing innocent always make me feel down and feel bad about myself. I feel stupid as I allow him to manipulate me, all these years. All this while ive been tolerate with his shit. 

He always said that I changed, He want his wife back. Sometimes I lose patient coz I felt that, i have put alot of this effort in the marriage but he still didnt change. I have 2 kids and even he is the husband. He doesnt play the husband role and I felt that I have to baby sit 3 children.

I will take a stand for myself. I wont tolerate this anymore.I want to move on. I will move on and wont look back. i will be strong InshaAllah.

Assalamualaikum....
   
        Its been a while actually i've been away. It is my mid sem break and last 27th March was my birthday. I can't explain how happy i am , but honestly Alhamdulillah I'm happy. My studies and my relationship, both are in a stable condition. Thank You Allah.
Assalamualaikum,

I dont like and need attention from you guys.
Firstly, let me tell you, IM NOT SMART.......EAT THIS!
Second, I'm too lazy.... my level of laziness is maybe higher than yours! Assalamualaikum,

Dear guys, girls need attention. Got it? Jgn harapkan girl je yang nak mulakan conversation, u must put your effort on it. Show your love so that she notice your effort.

Ni hari-hari macam biasa je, mula-mula sebelum and awal-awal relationship dulu bukan main lagi. Selamat pagi sayang,cinta,gula, madu and etc. Bila dah dapat, selamat pagi pun takde, dah terbang melayang kemana tah agaknya. Main aci redah suka-suka je. Takkan u nak harap perempuan tu dulu mula conversation hari-hari. Diorang pun akan terfikir macam diorg bertepuk sebelah tangan. Rasa macam diorang terhegeh-hegeh kat korang. Diorang pun malu lah!
U all guys bila dah rasa rindu baru terhegeh-hegeh cari girlfriend korang tu. Mana tak kene sembur. Pastu kate la perempuan tu emo la, period la, ape la you name it...

Second thing, wahai kaum lelaki sedar tak awak tu bakal Imam dia. Ingat! Gerak dia suruh solat ke apa. susah sangat ke? If you notice, perempuan kalau dia dah sayang dia akan membebel, dia akan tunggu korang text dia even korang TAK TAHU! Kalau korang punya girlfriend tu masih belajar, tetapkan masa bila masa dia boleh call/text. selebihnya suruh la dia study. Bagi la dia semangat!. They need you. Dah pandai bagi anak perempuan suka/jatuh cinta kat U olls, pandai2 la jaga hati dia sebab part of diorang is YOU. faham? means diorang 24hr/7 CARE about YOU!
korang ingat diorg suka-suka ke nak ambil tahu pasal korang je? Baik diorang diorang layan text yang bertalu-talu masuk whatsapp/wechat/facebook diorg daripada nak ambil tahu hal orang yang TAK HARGAI diorang!

Ade sesetengah lelaki, girlfriend sendiri demam/sakit pun tak kisah. layan macam biasa. Cuba caring sikit...! Nak tunggu orang lain kebas awek kau ke?

Perempuan seboleh-bolehnya, dia nak you guys usahakan untuk halalkan hubungan. Makes thing clear so that dia nampak usaha korang yang betul-betul serious. ACTION TALKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!. Rapatkan la diri U olls dengan family diorg sikit-sikit. Dengan adik- adik ke, kakak ke or abang diorg. Facebook, twitter semua tu kan ada.

Perempuan dia suka kena pujuk, dia suka dilayan. Perempuan ni memang mengada-ngada.Korang tahu consequences bercinta. Pastu, kalu tak suka jangan bercinta dengan insan bernama perempuan.

Perempuan once bila dia dah terlalu disakiti, and u all pun suruh dia pujuk diri sendiri. Cakap diorg mengada-ngada and too demanded. Slowly dia akan tawar hati. Bila dia dah tawar hati, SO LONG GOODBYE lah kat korang. Masa tu, peluang untuk nak selamatkan hubungan korang. 20%. Doa lah banyak-banyak eh!

Real Men Don't Pretend Or Even Try To Understand Women-

http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/NEWSLETTER%20ARTICLES/mystery.html
Ketahui tanda hubungan renggang klik-
http://penpatah.blogspot.com/2012/06/ketahui-tanda-hubungan-semakin-renggang.html


Assalamualaikum,
Happy 7th anniversary. Im sorry, I still doubt u. Or in other word i tend to get jealous easily these days. So this is it. I wont chase u anymore because in the end of the day it feels like i'm the only one who's giving too much. I wish i could turn back the time so that I just keep this feeling to myself by not involving u. Its frustrating. Kalau ada jodoh kita,maka adalah.Tolong faham, i wished there was a second u try to comfort me. Try to sort this thing out tapi kenyataannya takda. No action..nothing could makes thing looks clear. YA Allah, am i doing the right thing? Aku tak tahu Ya Allah. Please guide me! Assalamualaikum pembuka kata,

Nak berpantun ke? sorry i tak reti nak berpantun. herher! Well lame rasanya tak berbelog! Im a busy business woman now opss im not yet women ! yelah hari2 kira duit kira I ni VVIP lah. lately I felt so happy, Thanks Allah, you give me a rainbow after a rain. Alhamdulillah even he's far away but still I'm happy and I'm thankful. I'll appreciate this kind of relationship because I taught me to be patient and treasure time.  Orang ramai puji kata I makin happy and ceria. Buat kerja pun hari-hari bersemangat. Tapi actually I did all that because of Allah and because of mom. Whenever I looked at the watch that mom gives me it remind me of mom and it gives me strength to work and remind me to be happy. This makes me enjoy my work and less tired. I dont want to be some of them who presence for work but they don't have the heart to work and their mind is not there. I'm not that type of person and I don't want to be one. How hard it is I try to endure it, even sometime i've complained myself about the tiredness but in the end of the day I satisfied. I give my customers the service which is I think if I'm on their shoes I want the best,fast, good and convenience services.I try my best, I learnt from mistake and I wanna be better. Thats what I am now, and that how its gonna work for me. Assalamualaikum,

Blog Name :Rhythm Of Life

Name : JR for short
Gender : lovely female creature
BirthPlace : earth ofcourse


I believe in Allah
uhmnnn nom nom Milky Iced Tea,GreenTeaIce cream, Big fan of Haagen Dazs, Hlovate Inspire me,imma Big fan of Stephenie Meyer,Jane Austen and Imma music lover =)
UNITEN KSHAS =)and I wont give up! =)
Whenever I'm in silent mode its doesn't mean that I am dreaming, Im thinking too much actually
MOM I love you the most. Forever and ever and ever Teheee!